The moment that Caleb was asking his futurefather-in-law for Amy's hand in marriage
(photo courtesy of stealth photographer,
Jeanmarie Andersen).
Once upon a time, along about last spring, Caleb was in the BYU 158th Ward. Winter Semester had ended and Spring classes had begun. A Family Home Evening group was gathered on the back deck of Chattham Towne condominiums, where Amy had recently taken up residence. Those that were in attendance formed a circle and everyone introduced themselves. When it was Amy's turn, her roommate Jeniel requested that Amy share where she was employed. Amy then said that she worked at the MTC, and this bit of information immediately caught the attention of the now intrigued Caleb.
Shortly they began to talk, and Caleb started to like Amy immediately. Amy thought, "Oh, he's kind of cute. But I probably won't be finding my husband in this ward."
After a few weeks of "friendshipping," Caleb asked Amy out on a date. They had lunch at the MTC, and Caleb said, "I have 10 questions for you." However, after the first three, he then said he didn't really have any more!
Shortly after that, Amy began a relationship with another young man. Caleb went on to pursue a relationship with another young lady, but after a period of time, neither of those relationships worked out (obviously!)
One day in July, Caleb went to the MTC cafeteria for lunch, and ended up sitting by a young man who, unbeknownst to Caleb at the time, was also pursuing Amy. After the discovery was made that they were both interested in the same girl, the young man said to Caleb, "May the best man win," to which Caleb replied, "Likewise!"
Then on the 10th of July, Amy and Caleb celebrated their shared 23rd birthday, where Caleb's band (A Thousand Paper Cranes) played outside. It was at this time that Caleb told Amy, "I used to like you a lot. But I don't feel the same way anymore. I like you, but I don't want to go on a million dates with you or anything." (What Caleb was trying to do was to not like Amy. He had already tried that many times and had failed—he just couldn't get over his desire to be with Amy.)
The following morning, Amy and her roommates left on a road trip for California to see her mission president's homecoming. They listened to Caleb's band on CD for nearly 6 of the 11 hours on the road.
Caleb decided that he couldn't live without Amy and that he just had to ask her out again. He had to do it. He had to satisfy the desire that was in his heart. He then expressed this to Amy over the phone when asking her out on a date. Amy responded, "Caleb, I have a lot of fun with you. I enjoy being with you, and I don't mind going on dates with you, but I need to make it clear that we're not on the same page about how we feel about each other. I don't think I see this going in the same direction as you do." Famous last words!
Caleb was heartbroken inside. He told Amy that he was excited that she would go out with him. For their date, they rode a tandem bicycle to Guru's Sandwich Shop in Provo. (Unfortunately, Amy was dealing with a bout of the flu, and felt quite nauseous the whole time.) Shortly thereafter, Caleb asked her out on another date, and knowing this could be a pivotal opportunity, wished to come up with an idea where they could have a ton of fun. He prayed about it, but still came up blank. What kept coming to his mind was, "Caleb, do what you like to do. Make a picnic, read children's books to each other, and go shopping for planners." He followed that impression and the date went very well. It was this encounter that Amy discovered several qualities that she didn't believe co-existed in any young man. And she began to fall in love and think that maybe she had been wrong and that this could actually go somewhere.
However, all of those feelings were squelched that night by a conversation in which Caleb was not very wise with the words he chose to say about his current dating status, which alluded to the fact that he was dating multiple girls. This did not make Amy feel very special (a word to the wise). Amy then expressed to Caleb that it would be best that they not go out together anymore.
That next morning (by now it's the first week of August), Amy left on another road trip, this time with her mother and sister to visit friends and family in Oregon. Throughout this short vacation, Amy missed Caleb, but was afraid to acknowledge her own feelings. When she returned home, Caleb stopped by that evening, just as Amy returned from a run. She was pleasantly surprised (albeit a bit embarrassed at her current physical state) to see him.
Amy and Caleb then enjoyed a self-disclosing conversation where Amy expressed her need for Caleb's friendship. They were interrupted by roommates and friends, and Amy was a bit disgruntled when she went to bed and hadn't finished this conversation. She texted him, and in the course of that exchange, agreed to go on a lunch date the following day. At the end of their time together, Caleb asked Amy on another date, and she replied that she'd have to get back to him.
Caleb then ran a 1/2 marathon and Amy came over to inquire about how it had gone. Shortly thereafter, on a Sunday evening, they had a serious conversation where Caleb expressed a lot of his feelings toward Amy. At the end of the conversation, Caleb requested a hug from Amy. It was at this point that Amy's heart broke because she was confused, and knew that this confusion was hurting Caleb. She went up and cried on her roommate's bed.
Amy then came to the conclusion that she wanted to get to know Caleb better, but the dates were causing anxiety. They then began their "unofficial courtship," which was pleasing to Caleb and confusing to Amy.
One day at Amy's new apartment, Amy asked Caleb, "What are your intentions with me?" Caleb responded with, "Would you like to know all of my intentions?" to which she replied in the affirmative. Caleb then said, "Well, I would like to start a serious relationship with you, be boyfriend and girlfriend, and if it's the Lord's intention, marry you." Amy's response was silence. She was dumbfounded. Caleb then planted a kiss upon her cheek, to which Amy returned the gesture. She then left for work.
A few day's later, in Caleb's apartment, Amy was letting Caleb know of her confusion and sadness about not being able to make a decision regarding the relationship and feel good about it. Amy said to Caleb, "Why are you so good to me?" Caleb responded, "Do you want to know why? Because I love you," and then, for the first time, held her hand.
Following that, Amy's confusion only increased. Caleb, wanting to move things forward, gave Amy a reasonable deadline to make a decision regarding the relationship (the commitment pattern!). Her parents, upon hearing this turn of events, thought that was a really great idea. However, before the deadline arrived, Amy made a decision. And before she was prepared to share with him the decision to break his heart, Caleb caught her unawares and asked, "What are you thinking?" Amy began to cry, and Caleb then correctly guessed the reason for her tears. She felt best about ending the relationship.
Caleb left on his bicycle, crying, and Amy sobbed to her mother on the phone. Over the next few days, Caleb's heart began to heal. However, Amy missed Caleb more and more. The following Sunday, she invited Caleb to dinner with her family, stating that she was giving her decision some reconsideration (and after they left, Amy's mother said to her husband, "I don't get her. What is there not to like about him?") They had agreed that she would give him her final decision that Tuesday evening, but Monday evening Caleb, who was experiencing a mix of anxiousness and feeling that the timing was right, asked Amy if she would be his girlfriend.
Amy's stomach dropped to her toes, but she said yes. Caleb was one happy Jose! By Wednesday morning, Amy had come to terms with her new status as Caleb's girlfriend, and by Friday, in a lighthearted but serious way, they were planning their wedding. (What?)
Two days later, on a Sunday afternoon, Caleb asked Mike for Amy's hand in marriage (pictured above). Mike said, "I give it to you without reluctance."
Several days later, Amy had a mid-week crisis, but shortly thereafter she received a powerful confirmation that she was making the right decision.
Two weeks from the day that they had become a "couple", Caleb officially proposed to Amy. She responded with "YES, YES, YES . . . !!!!" and he placed a ring upon her finger. They are one happy pair and have the blessing of their families as they join their lives together.
